my favourite book.

december makes me think of this song.
it's perfect. <3

..................................................................................

i was always late, you never afraid, that we could be falling
all our friends would say, maybe we should wait, but they can't see what's coming
and to this day, when everything breaks, you are the anchor that holds me

and that is why we'll always make it.

how i know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, i can read you
you're my favourite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
i never knew there was someone, to make me come alive

when the days are long, and the thunder with the storm, can always get me crying
you can make my bed, i'll fall into it, shattered but not lonely
because i never knew a home, until i found your hands, when i'm weathered
you come to me, you're my best friend

and that is why we'll always make it

how i know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, i can read you
you're my favourite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
i never knew there was someone, to make me come alive

and when we're making love
i'd give up everything up for your touch

how i know your face, all the ways you move, you come in, i can read you
you're my favourite book
all the things you say, the way you shift your eyes
i never knew there was someone, to make me come alive

when you go to work all the day i wait
for you to come home, recount our time, in our little place.






love. <3

one more..

here's another rant about not growing up.
my best friend got engaged last night and i am SO happy for them!
and i'm still doing homework on a Saturday afternoon. gah!
but i am sooooo so excited for ashley & justin and i can't wait to help her plan her wedding! laura and i were already planning the bachelorette last night when we found out. SO so excited!!! <3

I can't believe how quickly this semester has flown by. Christmas Eve is a month away - ridiculous! I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet, and I have no clue what to get anyone. I love shopping for other people but I hate shopping with a deadline - funny that deadlines are a huge part of my life haha. I'd rather buy stuff as I go along - trouble is, I haven't BEEN shopping in what feels like forever. I'm exercising self-control in staying away from the malls because I am dirt poor. I would so love to buy a new party dress. they always make me feel better.

today is my last Tuesday off because the next three weeks i'm on layout for the paper. so much for sleeping in until 11am. i loved that. Now i'll be in the newsroom for 8am.blahh!

i really don't have anything else to say.

stress stress stress.

tests tomorrow.
yahoo. suuuuuper pumped. not. ugh.

when i'm stressed, i cry.
it's what i do.
so it's not at all a surprise to me that i started bawling when i found out that we got assigned a ridiculous assignment today in the class i didn't go to. the only class i have missed because i had a doctor's appointment (which only caused me more stress..thanks body).
i'm not quite sure why this year has easily become the most stressful of all of my five years of post-secondary education. i cried a lot when i went to mac, because i hated it and almost failed out. a lot.
but i love sheridan. loved the program last year and wasn't at all concerned about getting my work done.
maybe it's because i lived in a hotel for four weeks due to bed bugs in my res room, and i'm constantly paranoid that they will come back.
maybe it's because i always feel like fucking crap and constantly google my symptoms, and today i finally did something about it by going to the doctor and now i'm even more anxious about finding out what's wrong.
or maybe its just because i'm so fucking tired of school and life that i just need a break.

either way, i expect to be draining my tear ducts quite often between now and april.

do be do be doooo..

i forgot to post before - the caramel brulee latte was delish. and i got a free cranberry bliss bar to go with it! probably the best part of my day..until alex called around 7 and told me to come let him in because he had come for a surprise visit!
he's snoring so loudly beside me right now because he just finished working three 12-hour shifts, and i got wonderful new memory foam pillows..so i think he will sleep well tonight!
so angry that i have to be at school for like, 45 minutes tomorrow. post mortem is a waaaste of my life, and i would much rather sleep in and be lazy with my babe alllll day.

ever since that night, we've been together. lovers at first sight, in love forever. it turned out so right for strangers in the night..

xx

ps. i need to stop being such a hypochondriac. i do not have a fatal disease. i do not.

i'm so over school.

so ready to be done.
i'm starting to feel like i felt when i was in third year at mac. i hated life a little. ok a lot. i wanted to drop out. i had wanted to drop out long before third year but i stuck to it. im glad i did, dont get me wrong.. but i didnt want to be there at all. first year at sheridan, i loved it. really. and i don't hate this year. i'm just tired of school. i know i posted about this already but im doing it again. im f-ing tired of this shit. i want to do well but im thisclose to giving up.

but i won't. i never do. i'll succeed because thats what i do.
and soon enough i'll stop complainging about it.

today's the first day of the rest of my life.

i'm alive and well.

i love how music can totally change your mood around.
not much to say tonight. went for dinner with my dad. interesting. no mention of any women this time, so im assuming that only means there's a new one. hmm.
we talked a lot about my little brother, branden. i wish i saw him more often. he's 8, and such an amazing little boy. so smart and articulate for his age. and just absolutely adorable. the sweetest thing in the world. i hate hate hate not seeing him very often, but when i do see him, he runs towards me with a hug so big it would knock me over. i hope he never stops doing that, no matter how old he gets. i love him so much.

total change of topic: im really excited to try the new creme brulee latte at starbucks. ive only heard it's absolutely amazing, and i love starbucks. why not spend $5 on a coffee that has more calories than what most people consume in one day. you only live once, right?

oh. it's still boiling hot in residence. but i got a new tv. thummbsss up!

excited to go home on friday and see my babe! and my mom and my dog. :)

xx

death by heat.

so its my first night in my new room at res and i'm already ready to go back to the hotel.
1) it is boiling in here. so hot. and though i love how warm it has been outside for the past few days, i hate the fact that because it is so warm, my open window is not doing anything.
2) my television doesn't work. apparently the cable was disconnected when the old resident moved out. this isn't the biggest deal as i am not a huge tv-watcher, but i do like having some background noise on when im doing homework, and how i met your mother was on tonight!
3) i am exhausted.. but i'm almost a little scared to fall asleep for fear of waking up with bug bites all over.

that is all. i'll live i'm sure, but the residence managers will be meeting with my fist very shortly if it doesn't cool down, the tv isn't fixed and there are GD bedbugs in this new room. heaven forbid!

xo

life at the hotel.

tonight, my roomie and i ordered chinese food and watched greys and private practice in my hotel room. its our last night at the hotel - provided bed bugs don't come back. i don't even want to think about bugs anymore. as much as i've enjoyed having my bed made for me every morning by the housekeeping staff, i'm incredibly anxious to get back into a room in res and get settled again. for the last four weeks, i've been living out of my suitcase and my car. i have no idea where any of my school stuff is. it's been crazy and i'm really glad to be going back. but as much as i love school - and yes, i realize how nerdy that is - i really hate being in oakville. it has nothing to do with the city or the people. but i miss my life last year. if i had known i was going to spend a quarter of first semester living in a hotel and moving back and forth between rooms, i would have much rathered stayed at home and braved the commute. or lived in hamilton with my roomies from last year. i miss them so much.
it just sucks when you get that nostalgic feeling about something but there's nothing better about your current situation to compare it to.
i'm not saying i hate my life or anything drastic like that. britt and i get along great and i'm so lucky that i didnt get stuck with a crazy roommate :S
i guess i'm just tired of the same old thing. i'm pretty much the last person within my group of friends that is still a full-time student and i'm tired of having no money and having to work a part-time job on the weekends and doing homework when everyone else can do fun things. this is just a crappy rut.
everyone (my mom, specifically) tells me that i will miss school when i'm working full time but i truly don't think i will. when my mom was my age, she was married and already had me. everyone around me is engaged or moving out (or in together) or having babies and i'm just ready to have a real life like the rest of these people.
sigh.
until then i guess i'll pack up my life so that i can check out of the hotel in the morning. should be fun times. packing isn't as fun when you have nowhere exciting to go.

side note. i realize i am debbie downer tonight but i'm really not that upset. just bored i guess. and maybe kinda lonely too.
another side note. - i love my boyfriend and i'm sure the three people that actually read this will groan as they read that i'm so incredibly thankful to have found the one person who has been able to make me pee my pants laughing on a daily basis for over 12 months. i'm crazy, and he knows it. but as ms. bradshaw said.. "if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well..that's just fabulous."
it is fabulous. i wish you all the exact same feeling.

sweet dreams! xo

here's a little ray of sunshine for today.
every week in my audio/visual class, my teacher shows us a video of the week. just random, fun videos that have great editing and are fun to watch.
this was today's. it honestly made me laugh out loud.
today was a great day to begin with, as it was a special anniversary.. a "babeaversary" if you will. but this made it just that little bit better.
if anyone actually does read this blog, i hope you enjoy *THIS!*
shine on you crazy diamonds.
xo

confidence.

i used to blog all the time.
about everything. i'm not sure why i stopped.
like i posted in my old blog.. maybe its because i do so much writing for school that i don't want to write for pleasure anymore. but i loved it then, and i still do love it now, so im going to start again.
right now it's 1:40 a.m. and i can't sleep. 1) because i had a fabulous nap earlier this afternoon, and 2) because i am listening to the glee soundtrack on repeat.
those kids make me feel so untalented. i wish i could sing like that.
then i look at some of the work that i do and i wonder if i give myself enough credit.
i'm a damn good writer. i can take a topic and begin to turn it into a significant and interesting news story within a few short minutes (in most cases). i really hate when i discredit myself, though i don't want to sound cocky. it just sucks when other people take credit for things you had a bigger part in. or when you're overlooked because someone has done something maybe not quite as good in your eyes, but just a little better than you in someone else's eyes.
either way..i'm great.
i realize this sounds terribly arrogant, but telling myself how fantastic i am every day really makes a difference in how i see the world and how i come across to other people. i'm very loud and outgoing, but i have incredibly low self-esteem sometimes. i cover it up with sarcasm; you've probably noticed on occasion. but i've decided that in a competitive world, it's not a bad thing to give yourself an extra confidence booster every now and then.
so i'm great. maybe you are too.. but i'm probably better. social darwinism, folks...survival of the fittest.

don't stop believin'.